The end of the beginning

I realized today that Jack is officially a Baby. Not quite a Toddler yet but definitely not an infant. He's so much more expressive; you can totally tell what he's interested, what he wants, what he doesn't want (usually those things get flung across the room in disgust). It's pretty cool. 

The sleeping is going well. We're settled in to a 7-ish to 7-ish sleep schedule which he's been pretty consistent about. We occasionally still have the early waking, but I try to be vigilant about not feeding until 7am and it's working pretty well. I've also cut down to 4 feedings a day, every 4 hours. He didn't blink an eye at that change, which makes me think we probably should have done it weeks ago, but whatever. 

Naps are still wildly inconsistent. I try and put him down at the same time every day and even if he wakes up early, I let him hang out in his crib for the duration of the "nap" but he's still dog-tired by the end of the day and it's a fight to stay awake til bedtime. But we'll keep working on that...

Jack got his first cold last week, which wasn't too bad until I caught it too. Wow does being sick when you've got a sick baby to take care of really suck. He was all thrown off schedule and I'm not quite cold-hearted enough to stick to the no-feeding plan when the kid wakes himself up at 3:45 in the morning with a coughing jag and then lays there for a half hour pitifully crying and coughing, so needless to say we were off our game for a few days. But we're both on the mend and seem to be feeling better. 

Solid food has officially begun! After the last couple weeks of attempts (to have the food literally spit back at me), Jack seems to be accepting the non-breast-milk sustenance. So far, he seems to prefer sweet potatoes and squash (and yogurt), which works for me. 

Another question for the experienced moms (whose advice was AWESOME regarding the sleep problems - thanks!!): how do you "teach" the kid to drink from a cup, or to drink water out of something? Not that I'm in any hurry, but I have made a half-hearted attempt with water in a sippy cup and there was just no having it. Do you put water in a bottle? Use one of those straw cup things? Is it too early to even think about water?

Anyway, I had a birthday this week. 34. Jack gave me the lovely gift of waking up at 3:30am for the first time since he got over his cold. Thank you, son. He was back to sleep by 4:20 but I laid there until 5:30, so that was a delightful way to start my 35th year :-)

My friend asked me the other day if I felt like a mom yet. That morning at 4am listening to my baby crying on the baby monitor - yes, I did. But there are other times when I forget for a few minutes - on the subway, in a work meeting, even just getting a coffee when he's back at home. So I don't know if I feel like a mom. I mean, I AM a mom. I get that. But that doesn't mean I feel like one. Or maybe this is what it feels like? 

Anyway, here's a bath series with various setting on the always delightful Hipstamatic app on my phone:

Six Months Old

Love this boy!

Sleep (what else??)

Happy New Year!

We drove back to Brooklyn on New Year's Day with Jack in his big boy carseat (he got too tall for the infant one we had been using!) and settled back in to life in NYC.

After hanging out with several of my RI friends while I was home over the holidays, most of whom have children of their own, I began thinking more about getting Jack more on a schedule. As I've mentioned before, his day is basically dictated by what time he wakes up (which could be anywhere from 4:30-6am) and then how short his naps are (anywhere from 30-90 minutes) Other than eating every 3 hours, I have no way of knowing, for example, what time he'll nap tomorrow, since it all depends on when he wakes up. So, after talking to some of my mom pals, I've been attempting to give his day some structure. One week in to this plan, it's going...ok.

I started by establishing that I wouldn't feed him before 6am (previously, I would feed him whenever he woke up), so now if he wakes at 5:15, he hangs out in his crib (sometimes talking to himself, sometimes whining) until 6. This seems like maybe it's helping him to wake up a little later (though last Thursday he did wake at 3:45 and cried/whined/babbled until I caved at 5:15 and fed him) but it still isn't helping the nap thing. He can only stay awake about 2-2.5 hours until he just hits the wall from exhaustion, so even if I wait until 6 to feed him, if he's been up since 5 he wants to nap at 7/7:30, which seems crazy early to take his first nap. And then if that nap is only 45 minutes (very possible), again even if I leave him in his crib, it doesn't change the fact that he's awake and will want to nap again 2 hours after he woke up from that nap. So even though I can control when he eats, it just seems like if I don't have any control over how long he sleeps, I'll never be able to set a schedule. Ah well. Maybe I just need to be more patient with it. But any tips from seasoned vets are appreciated.

On the starting solid foods front, it's also pretty bleak. He pretty much rejects any food I try, whether it's warm or cold, with or without oatmeal mixed in. At this point he won't even open his mouth anymore so I'm wondering if I should let it go for a few days and try again at the end of this week. He's not even 6 months old yet, so I'm not too worried. He IS a Farrell after all and we are certainly genetically predisposed to eating. I think maybe he doesn't get the swallowing thing yet (as everything I try to put in his mouth is promptly spit back at me, including just plain old breastmilk on a spoon!)

But in happier news, here are some pics of Jack with my friend Jenn's daughter, Maddie as Jack tries to show her his moves (and is completely and totally rebuffed!)

Jack and Maddie completely oblivious to each other

Boy notices Girl

Boy makes his move

Boy is shot down

Boy tries a little more subtlety - goes for the arm around her shoulder while playing it casual 

Boy is shot down

Settles for touching her arm. This is deemed acceptable. 

Holiday Fun

This is mostly a pictures post, since there's not much new to report other than the holidays were fabulous and Jack thoroughly enjoyed himself up in RI with the family. He's been in a pretty great mood all week and though he didn't quite know what to make of the christmas tree and decorations, he did enjoy playing with the wrapping paper and ribbons on the many many presents he was given. 

In other news, we're in Day 2 of complete pacifier weaning. So far, so good....

With Uncle Matt in Brooklyn before heading out

This was the Christmas card photo I wanted. Too bad I didn't get it until after I had ordered the Christmas cards. Ah well...

With Grandma Christmas morning

hanging with Uncle Will

With Papa. both in their Christmas outfits

The newest generation of Farrells to wear the Christmas crown (it's a tradition)

Social Butterfly

A very social weekend filled with friends and babies. Jack and I went to a holiday market with some friends from the building (and their son Ben, 1 day younger than Jack) then met my friend Abby for sort of brunch (and her daughter Calliope, 1 month younger than Jack) then saw my friends from Peace Corps (and their daughter Astrid, one month older than Jack) and then went to Cousin Caolan and Paul's holiday caroling party (many children, all older than Jack)

He was pretty mellow for all of it. I'm glad I got some good time in with him since this is the last (hopefully) of the crazy work weeks and I saw him for a grand total of like 2 hours today, which sucked. But I gotta keep my eye on the prize and just get to Saturday, after which it will be infinitely more mellow. But I realize how good I've had it being able to work from home, since going into the office for 9 hours really was not very delightful. I also find, oddly enough, that I get way more work done at home. I don't know if it's not having the distraction of other people around, or the fact that I'm in my own space, or if I work quicker so I can pop over and see the little man but I'm definitely better from home.

Some pics from the weekend, including one where Caolan tries to read Jack a graphic novel (which he was totally interested in!)

Keeping the Christ in Christmas??

So I just put up my Christmas tree (for the record, the smallest one I have ever gotten - not counting the tabletop tree than Jenn and I smuggled into our college dorm room in a trashbag). Haven't decorated it yet, but it's up. Settling overnight so I can find the best side once the branches have dropped to where they're going to stay... I don't even remember how I know that a tree has to "settle". I suppose my mom or dad told me that once or we did it for our trees or maybe I saw it on television. I don't know. But it got me thinking about Christmas traditions. What my traditions have always been and what they will continue to be with Jack.

Not for the first time (and definitely not for the last time) I'm thinking about religion now that I have this little boy who's a blank slate of faith, completely ignorant of the concepts of god, the Bible, different (opposing) organized religions, heaven/hell, etc... Not this year, and maybe not even next year, but at some point he'll be aware of Christmas and the tree and the decorations and (most important for a kid) the presents. And then I have to figure out what to tell him about Christmas. That it's a time to be with family. That it's when we give (and receive) gifts from our friends and family. That it's a commemoration of the birth of this guy named Jesus who some people think is God, the Creator of All. That last one will likely warrant further explanation for him. I guess it's just once again brought this religion question to the forefront and made me wonder what I'm doing about the whole "god thing". Because while I think I can safely say that Jack will not be raised Catholic like his mom, I don't know that I'm ready to toss all religion out the door. I don't know that I'm truly an atheist, or even an agnostic. I think that's the problem. I still don't know what I believe, and realizing that I need to try and figure it out so I can explain it to this little guy has really made me ponder. I don't really feel like shopping for a new religion (this week: Presbyterianism!!) but I do feel like I need to get my story straight so I can at least present a consistent explanation. Luckily, I've got some time before I'm debating religion with Jack...

Sorry for getting all deep and real. I'm sure this will not be the last blog post on this matter, but enough for now. I'll leave you, as always, with photos of Jack.

Wearing a fabulous puffy coat and owl hat from Aunt Nora. Sadly, I could NOT get him to smile for the camera. 

Working Girl Fail

So as you probably know, I have this nanny (who continues to be great) 3 days a week. We switch up the days based on when I think I'm going to be busy and so far, it had been working out perfectly. On the 2 days she didn't come, I'd check emails and make a couple calls, but it was no big deal. And the came last week. The nanny (who I'm just going to refer to as L from now on) came Mon-Wed and then Thursday came and work was just insane. Constant phone calls and emails and crises that needed my attention and trying to take care of Jack at the same time. It's not that it was a disaster in the sense that he was ever in danger or unsafe, but there was a lot of solo playing, hanging out in his crib, and otherwise entertaining himself while I dealt with my shit. The worst part was that I was on a conference call with some folks from the studio and I could hear him wake up from his nap and (as occasionally happens) start screaming. Now while there are many folks I work with whom I could have said "let me call you back, my baby is yelling", the people I was on the phone with were not some of them. So 6 minutes of screaming child later, I got off the call and went to tend to my child. It was not a good day for the work/life balance. I know logically that he was fine. It's not like he didn't get fed or take his naps. It's not like I didn't hang out with him at all - I did. But I felt like a shitty mother. And that's not a great feeling.

On a happier note, he's actually doing really well. He's gotten to be a really happy baby and I feel like his personality is really starting to come out. He's (sometimes, sort of) responding to his name, which is so cool, and I'm really digging the phase we're in. I've kept up with the no pacifier for night sleeping - Rebecca, to answer your question from my last post: I have absolutely NOTHING against the pacifier, lord knows it's been good to me. My problem was that he was waking 4-8 times a night looking for it, which meant I was waking up 4-8 times a night to stick it back in his mouth. He'd go immediately back to sleep and I'd lay there for 20 minutes, which was not a sleep pattern that was working for me. A lot of people told me that if I could get to the point where he could find it in the crib and put it back in his own mouth I'd be golden, and that would have been awesome, but I just wasn't getting enough sleep to function as a normal person. Hence the pacifier removal. He's consistently sleeping 7-4/4:30 and I'm trying to not feed him until 5am each morning (hoping to start moving that slowly forward to 6am, but we'll see) He's legitimately hungry at 5am, so I have no problem feeding him, but it will be nice in the next month or so to be able to push that back.

Here are some "rejects" from the holiday Christmas card photo shoots I've been doing all week in an attempt to get the perfect picture, only to realize that there's no such thing and no matter which one I choose, the kid's adorable...

Off to get the Christmas tree tomorrow. If anyone reading this has a good suggestion about where to get a cute 1st Christmas ornament, let me know. I'm on the search...