Holiday Fun

This is mostly a pictures post, since there's not much new to report other than the holidays were fabulous and Jack thoroughly enjoyed himself up in RI with the family. He's been in a pretty great mood all week and though he didn't quite know what to make of the christmas tree and decorations, he did enjoy playing with the wrapping paper and ribbons on the many many presents he was given. 

In other news, we're in Day 2 of complete pacifier weaning. So far, so good....

With Uncle Matt in Brooklyn before heading out

This was the Christmas card photo I wanted. Too bad I didn't get it until after I had ordered the Christmas cards. Ah well...

With Grandma Christmas morning

hanging with Uncle Will

With Papa. both in their Christmas outfits

The newest generation of Farrells to wear the Christmas crown (it's a tradition)

Social Butterfly

A very social weekend filled with friends and babies. Jack and I went to a holiday market with some friends from the building (and their son Ben, 1 day younger than Jack) then met my friend Abby for sort of brunch (and her daughter Calliope, 1 month younger than Jack) then saw my friends from Peace Corps (and their daughter Astrid, one month older than Jack) and then went to Cousin Caolan and Paul's holiday caroling party (many children, all older than Jack)

He was pretty mellow for all of it. I'm glad I got some good time in with him since this is the last (hopefully) of the crazy work weeks and I saw him for a grand total of like 2 hours today, which sucked. But I gotta keep my eye on the prize and just get to Saturday, after which it will be infinitely more mellow. But I realize how good I've had it being able to work from home, since going into the office for 9 hours really was not very delightful. I also find, oddly enough, that I get way more work done at home. I don't know if it's not having the distraction of other people around, or the fact that I'm in my own space, or if I work quicker so I can pop over and see the little man but I'm definitely better from home.

Some pics from the weekend, including one where Caolan tries to read Jack a graphic novel (which he was totally interested in!)

Keeping the Christ in Christmas??

So I just put up my Christmas tree (for the record, the smallest one I have ever gotten - not counting the tabletop tree than Jenn and I smuggled into our college dorm room in a trashbag). Haven't decorated it yet, but it's up. Settling overnight so I can find the best side once the branches have dropped to where they're going to stay... I don't even remember how I know that a tree has to "settle". I suppose my mom or dad told me that once or we did it for our trees or maybe I saw it on television. I don't know. But it got me thinking about Christmas traditions. What my traditions have always been and what they will continue to be with Jack.

Not for the first time (and definitely not for the last time) I'm thinking about religion now that I have this little boy who's a blank slate of faith, completely ignorant of the concepts of god, the Bible, different (opposing) organized religions, heaven/hell, etc... Not this year, and maybe not even next year, but at some point he'll be aware of Christmas and the tree and the decorations and (most important for a kid) the presents. And then I have to figure out what to tell him about Christmas. That it's a time to be with family. That it's when we give (and receive) gifts from our friends and family. That it's a commemoration of the birth of this guy named Jesus who some people think is God, the Creator of All. That last one will likely warrant further explanation for him. I guess it's just once again brought this religion question to the forefront and made me wonder what I'm doing about the whole "god thing". Because while I think I can safely say that Jack will not be raised Catholic like his mom, I don't know that I'm ready to toss all religion out the door. I don't know that I'm truly an atheist, or even an agnostic. I think that's the problem. I still don't know what I believe, and realizing that I need to try and figure it out so I can explain it to this little guy has really made me ponder. I don't really feel like shopping for a new religion (this week: Presbyterianism!!) but I do feel like I need to get my story straight so I can at least present a consistent explanation. Luckily, I've got some time before I'm debating religion with Jack...

Sorry for getting all deep and real. I'm sure this will not be the last blog post on this matter, but enough for now. I'll leave you, as always, with photos of Jack.

Wearing a fabulous puffy coat and owl hat from Aunt Nora. Sadly, I could NOT get him to smile for the camera. 

Working Girl Fail

So as you probably know, I have this nanny (who continues to be great) 3 days a week. We switch up the days based on when I think I'm going to be busy and so far, it had been working out perfectly. On the 2 days she didn't come, I'd check emails and make a couple calls, but it was no big deal. And the came last week. The nanny (who I'm just going to refer to as L from now on) came Mon-Wed and then Thursday came and work was just insane. Constant phone calls and emails and crises that needed my attention and trying to take care of Jack at the same time. It's not that it was a disaster in the sense that he was ever in danger or unsafe, but there was a lot of solo playing, hanging out in his crib, and otherwise entertaining himself while I dealt with my shit. The worst part was that I was on a conference call with some folks from the studio and I could hear him wake up from his nap and (as occasionally happens) start screaming. Now while there are many folks I work with whom I could have said "let me call you back, my baby is yelling", the people I was on the phone with were not some of them. So 6 minutes of screaming child later, I got off the call and went to tend to my child. It was not a good day for the work/life balance. I know logically that he was fine. It's not like he didn't get fed or take his naps. It's not like I didn't hang out with him at all - I did. But I felt like a shitty mother. And that's not a great feeling.

On a happier note, he's actually doing really well. He's gotten to be a really happy baby and I feel like his personality is really starting to come out. He's (sometimes, sort of) responding to his name, which is so cool, and I'm really digging the phase we're in. I've kept up with the no pacifier for night sleeping - Rebecca, to answer your question from my last post: I have absolutely NOTHING against the pacifier, lord knows it's been good to me. My problem was that he was waking 4-8 times a night looking for it, which meant I was waking up 4-8 times a night to stick it back in his mouth. He'd go immediately back to sleep and I'd lay there for 20 minutes, which was not a sleep pattern that was working for me. A lot of people told me that if I could get to the point where he could find it in the crib and put it back in his own mouth I'd be golden, and that would have been awesome, but I just wasn't getting enough sleep to function as a normal person. Hence the pacifier removal. He's consistently sleeping 7-4/4:30 and I'm trying to not feed him until 5am each morning (hoping to start moving that slowly forward to 6am, but we'll see) He's legitimately hungry at 5am, so I have no problem feeding him, but it will be nice in the next month or so to be able to push that back.

Here are some "rejects" from the holiday Christmas card photo shoots I've been doing all week in an attempt to get the perfect picture, only to realize that there's no such thing and no matter which one I choose, the kid's adorable...

Off to get the Christmas tree tomorrow. If anyone reading this has a good suggestion about where to get a cute 1st Christmas ornament, let me know. I'm on the search...

Pacifier Removal, Stage One

So we are more than a week into the first phase of the Great Pacifier Removal Plan, which involves not letting him have it at night. So far, it's been a great success. It's coincided (somewhat inadvertently) with moving him out of my room and into his own, since we began this whole process at my parents house for Thanksgiving where he slept in a crib in his own room so once we got back here it seemed foolish not to continue that way.

Anyway, I basically did our nighttime routine per usual (our "routine" consists of PJs, sleep sack, bottle, singing) and then when I put him in the crib I just said good night and walked out. The first night he started screaming so I went back in after about a minute and shhed and patted, which I think only enraged him more, then I went out in to the hallway and happened to get a work phone call. So I stood in the hallway while my son was screaming in his room and during that 7 minute call, he stopped crying and went to sleep. I'm sure the people I work with who could no doubt hear the screaming child in the background of the phone call think that I'm the worst mother ever, but whatever. After that, it's been relatively painless. A minute or two of grumbling and then he's out. And he seems to be sleeping straight through (most of the time - see below) till about 4-5am, which is earlier than I'd like but we're working on that.

Until last night of course when he was up at 1:45am, shrieking like a banshee. I tried rocking him and shushing him, but to no avail. And I'm fairly certain he wasn't hungry since he had downed EIGHT ounces of formula at 7pm. So I got out the pacifier and stuck it in his mouth and he went immediately back to sleep until 4:45. Bad me. I find myself with so little resolve at 2am faced with a screaming child and a desperate desire to go back to sleep myself. But I'm hoping (praying) that it was an isolated incident and tonight will revert back to "normal" with just the one 5am wakeup. We'll see.

At the same time we (the nanny and I) have been forcing Jack to nap in his crib during the day, which he has NEVER successfully done. He's always been a stroller/carseat/in my arms napper, which is getting to be a problem now that it's getting colder and those 3 hour walks around the neighborhood aren't so pleasant. So all week we've been putting him in the crib and he has not taken more than a 45 minute nap. And let me say that a sleep-deprived Jack is a very, very unpleasant little boy. Finally this afternoon he slept in his crib for an hour and 45 minutes, and the post-nap personality was like night and day. So many more smiles and talking and playing. I don't know what to do - force this issue and keep making him nap in his crib and assume he WILL eventually get it, or do whatever I have to to get him to sleep and get to have a happy baby? Decisions, decisions.

On a lighter note, we went to get Jack's picture taken with Santa at the mall over Thanksgiving and the picture came out great! Jack was a pro and totally turned on the smile for the camera. Of course, he had had a nice nap in his stroller beforehand...

A very sleepy boy :-(

Thanksgiving

Very very happy thanksgiving to everyone!

I'm feeling particularly thankful this year, I've got to admit. It's not hard to feel like life is good when you get to see this little face every day.

Four months

How have 4 months already gone by?? 

All is well in Babyland. Jack is consistently sleeping 7-5:30-ish BUT wakes up for his pacifier still. I'm resolving that we will be quitting cold turkey when we go home to RI on Tuesday, since we'll be there 6 nights and it may be easier to deal with the inevitable screaming when I'm not feeling guilty about waking up the entire apt building. Anyone out there with experience taking away the pacifier and want to share their tips, please do. My current plan is basically There are No Pacifiers after Tuesday at 6pm. 

We'll see. 

In a completely unrelated note, one of my neighbors (can't tell if it's above, below, or next door) has been playing Christmas music for the last 8 hours. Straight. Now no one (literally, no one) loves Christmas more than me, but come on folks, it's not even Thanksgiving! I feel like I'm living in a mall...

I'm thinking of all my roommates over the years and realizing karma really is a bitch.